Just Thinking

I managed to get about 9 hours of sleep last night. Although I went to bed early, I didn’t really plan to sleep that long…hehehe But I’m glad I did. That transition going from travel back to reality can be rough. Sometimes a little extra sleep helps smooth things out. I slept about 8 hours before my travel home. So I did really well that day. But the late night I got home was a very short sleep going into a workday yesterday…LOL

I was just thinking this morning about how certain things and people annoy me. But then I wondered if I annoy others 🤔 Typically, whatever annoys me about other people are the things I also do myself, right?! So, it has me thinking about how I act around others and what little things I might be doing that cause them to cringe when they see my name pop up on their screens or when they see me coming in person. I never intend to annoy. Likewise, I don’t imagine many others intend to annoy me.

Work is going well this week. It has been a rather smooth transition back from vacation. I was surprised at the end of the day yesterday at just how much I was able to accomplish when I reviewed my notes for the day. I also managed to get started on this week’s Bible study. I didn’t get to do my Bible study session this morning, though. I suppose I needed the rest this morning a little more…hehehe But overall, the travel on Tuesday has made little impact on my ability to get back into my main routine.

I was just thinking about how I’m a little sad today. But I’m also happy. I have reason to be both. The happy things help keep the sadness from taking over. So, that’s good. I’m glad that I can still see the sad things. I used to try to be as happy as I could be all the time. Yet, that always seemed to lead to a toxic mindset. Especially when I was sad but “should” be happy…LOL Oddly, I was told that once…I was told I “should be happy” because of X, Y, and Z. It was as if the person was telling me I was being ungrateful. I was in a depression at the time. Depression was likely something they didn’t understand. I have since learned to accept that there are things that make me sad and that it is okay to be sad.

I’ll not go into what is making me a little sad today. I’m mentally healthy enough to know that what those things are should be making me sad. Everything that makes me happy shouldn’t keep me from feeling other things. I’m grateful for both kinds of things in my life. The happiness keeps me from going into depression and offers me the hope I need. Meanwhile, the sadness reminds me that I truly love.

By the way, I’m thinking about the sadly happy thoughts while drinking from my Olaf mug…LOL

So, when I say I’m a bit sad today, it’s a very healthy sadness…hehehe My silly side has been flowing like crazy lately…LOL That is one of many things that I feel stood out about me this past weekend. I was so incredibly happy that I couldn’t contain my joy. Today’s sadness doesn’t take that away from my spirit. That’s one reason I put it this way: sadly happy. There is a balance there. I’m just thinking. I’m not crying…hehehe

I’m also just thinking…how vastly different my life is now compared to my past. It is different in a vastly better way…LOL That’s not to say that I’ve had a bad life. Overall, I’ve had a great life. Bad things have happened. Good things have happened. But what makes it better and different now is my perspective and how I lead my life. Or rather, how I look at things the way I hope God is wanting me to see things and hopefully following His lead instead.

It’s hard to know what is and isn’t God’s Will. I’m looking at life through the fractured lens of a broken heart…LOL It helps to be in prayer and Bible study. The fellowship I’m in with Cherie has been a huge help in this area. It has been just over 2 years now that we’ve studied and prayed intentionally together. This has made a significant impact on my ability to seek God through life’s circumstances. I’m grateful God established this foundation between her and I. In all my years, I’ve not been a part of something so Christian as what we’ve had in our relationship. It’s certainly the type of relationship that is a sort of model for all my other relationships with people. It makes my heart so happy that God created this fellowship and that it is had a direct impact on all my other relationships. Even with the people in my life that annoy me…LOL

I’ll probably write about this in my entries about our May vacation, but I’m just thinking about something I loved on Monday. It happened again today, actually. So that’s why I’m thinking about it now…hehehe On Monday, someone heard us singing “Spoon Full of Sugar” and me doing a whimsical dance in the lobby of the Grand Californian. She said that she just loves happiness and that seeing us made her even more happy…hehehe Which in turn, made my heart happy. That happened again today. I made my mostly weekly visit to Zen. Lately, I’ve been wearing one of my various hats. Dora and I did our weekly hug and she told me that she just loves my hats and that they make her happy…hehehe Which, of course, made my heart happy.

The same is true about Cherie’s smile and laugh. I absolutely love her laugh and smile and they make my heart happy. I love it when I’ve been able to make her smile and laugh. Our weekly Rex Dance Party often makes her do just that…hehehe Which, as you have probably guessed, makes my heart happy…LOL Today was a Rexin’ good time…LOL

So, I’m just thinking about how Blessed I truly am. And the best part, God is using me to Bless others. He fills my heart until it overflows. And then I get to go around spreading that overflow wherever I go. That’s a privilege I do not take for granted. All that God Blesses me with is by His Mercy and Grace. I’m just thinking…and I’m grateful 🥹