It's a Wonderful Life

It has been nice being mostly back to my routine. There is a certain comfort in routine. I've been doing well at keeping from being stuck in a rut. I had a wonderful time with my family last week. And I'm fine being alone again this week. It's a good balance, I think.

I wore my new white shorts a few days this week. I bought them last week at Kohl's when I went there with my parents. The original motivation was to have them for Saturday's Dapper Day. I later changed my mind. But I thought I'd wear them this week to try them. They are comfy and I like them. I also wore a black shirt with them both days. Black and white seem to look good on me and allow for my colorful personality to shine through the lack of color...LOL j/k

By the way, that left over issue from the other day was quickly resolved the next day. A database change went in last week that impacted more than they thought. It was an easy fix and all is well in the world again...hehehe I'm glad it was an easy fix. And I'm glad I stayed on top of it so the end users could get back to work. It was an easy and quick win. I like those when they happen sometimes...hehehe I wouldn't want everything to be quick and easy. It's difficult to grow through these easy things. But they are nice to have from time to time.

As April came to a close and May has begun, I'm reflecting on how April was a good month. Overall, I've had a good year. I know not everyone has had such a good year. And in reality, there is quite a bit about my own year that I really don't like. But I'm choosing to be happy about all the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not in a toxic positivity way, of course. Just a reality check that what I need, I have. And that some of my wants, I also have. But also that not everything is comfortable, enjoyable, or how I'd like things to be.

I'm actually more open about this in my Bible study. I talk more about what I don't like in those notes than what I have here. Perhaps I could be more open about it here too? I've been able to do that with the Bible study because it is a fellowship with a trusted friend. But even that can have its limits. Such as, have I communicated well what I'm feeling? I mostly know what I mean when I write. But does that always come across to her exactly how it is meant to be? Same with what I say outside of what I write. Sometimes we discuss things we don't write in our notes...hehehe I never want to hide my feelings. I'm just not always good at communicating them. I'm still learning and growing in that area.

But back to my point, I have a wonderful life. At least in similar ways as the story in the famous movie, It's a Wonderful Life. There is no denying it...life sucks...literally...it sucks the life right out of me...LOL It's okay to admit that things are hard. Even if something is easy for someone else, I can find a lot of things about life that are hard for me or almost unbearable at times. And things that are easy for me might be very hard for someone else. We all have different journeys. We all have different talents and resources to navigate our journeys. No two lives are alike. They say comparison is the thief of joy. Well, it's also a terrible filter to be looking at life through...LOL

It's okay to feel the pain of it all. And it's equally okay to celebrate the little and big wins we have in life. So, when I take the 30,000 foot view of my life, I'd say it has been wonderful. And I'd say it has been difficult. It takes both perspectives to form the healthiest thoughts about my life.

We are now about a third of the way through 2025. And I'm just over a month into my personal year. Some of this year's experiences were expected. Some were not. Overall, I'm content with it all. But I'll also admit that some things just aren't that great, not that enjoyable, and not that comfortable.

I've been a bit more contemplative lately. Although I've been writing, I don't write about all of the things I'm thinking about. Not all of my thoughts are fleshed out yet. But I'm sure you can tell in today's entry that I'm working through a balance of the good and bad in my life...hehehe Funny thing is, I've been writing this entry for days now...LOL I started writing this on Tuesday...and now it's Thursday...HAHAHA

I've become a lot more quiet as a result of my contemplation. Even when I was with my family last week, there were a lot of conversations where I simply listened and didn't engage with my own thoughts. Last month was a thought provoking month...LOL And when I do finally speak, it feels very random. I pop in seemingly random due in part to the fact I don't want to lose touch with reality. I don't want to get too lost in my thoughts...hehehe It's good to engage with people from time to time to remind myself that I still exist...HAHAHA

This is just like any other season of my life. If I need to talk, I will. So being quiet doesn't have some sort of hidden agenda or hidden intent. But it does have a purpose. Right now, I just need to contemplate and think things through. That's all. I'm actually doing quite well, really. After all, It's a Wonderful Life ❤️