Expressions of Love, and a Nose Bleed
One way I know dad loves me is that he has coffee ready for me when I wake up on my visits. It was his dad's passing in 2019 that triggered my love for that bitter black nectar..LOL His always having it ready to greet me in the mornings here is his way of saying I love you, Greg. I wouldn't go so far as to say he struggled to show me love over the years. But growing up, he rarely said it and I hardly felt it. He seemed to always have that shallow, stoic way about him. You should know how I feel sort of attitude. Over the years, that changed. He says the words and backs it up with action. Looking back, I realize my problem wasn't that he didn't show me love. It was that I didn't recognize how he expressed it. So between his changing his expressions of love, and my finally recognizing it all, I feel dad's love. And I can now look back at all of the ways he actually did show me love in ways I just didn't see in the moment. So, in his own way, he has always loved me. I love you too, dad ❤️
Mom, on the other hand, always said the words and showed it in recognizable actions...LOL That's probably where I get my warm hug personality...hehehe I say the words and do the recognizable actions with the intention to show my love. But I'm glad I can now recognize other's love for me in the ways they express love. I no longer look for love from others through the filter of how I express love. This change in mindset has made a huge impact on how I feel loved and how I can express love to others in ways they can feel loved as well. This has been a wonderful part of my growth these last few years. By the way, one way mom showed me love this week is having already bought me Dave's Killer Bread...hehehe I love you too, mom ❤️
There have been both good and bad consequences with my move to Florida in 2022. Most decisions have that...hehehe One of the good things is how I experience my visits to Indiana as compared to what it like living near family. I've seen a side of my parent's relationship I couldn't see when I lived up here. I mostly stay in their guest room when I visit. It used to be my bedroom...LOL I sometimes need to do a hotel. Like the few days this week for Malachi, to be near where he lives. But staying in mom and dad's guest room allows me to see parts of their relationship I never saw when I would just pop in for a quick stop or for a Sunday lunch. Today, I was able to see them work together to put out some flowers mom picked up from the grocery today. Mom loves her flowers...hehehe I never knew dad joyfully helped her place them all over their landscaping. I loved seeing that today. When I first started visiting in 2022, I also discovered dad says, Good morning beautiful, gives her a kiss, and watches her go off to work on days she works. He stares out the window until he can't see her vehicle anymore. The only time I haven't seen that in 3 and half years of visits are the days dad is at grandma's helping her water her flowers ❤️
I had a major nose bleed this morning...HAHAHA I used to get those all the time living in Indiana. I've only had one or two since moving to Florida. And those were minor by comparison. My body loves the climate in Florida. It's starting to tell me it's time to go home...LOL j/k I'm getting the body aches too. I think the migraines are ready to pop out of hiding...LOL My tremors are no where in sight, though. So that's good...hehehe I'm glad my heart is happy despite these things. Otherwise this would be a miserable trip...HAHAHA
Since I drove this time, I have the opportunity to transport some things I couldn't otherwise do on a plane. Grandma finished a blanket for my sister and her husband. It would be a bit much for them to take on a plane. So I'll be taking that down for delivery. I'll also be taking a bunch of my childhood LEGO blocks with me. I have blocks they probably don't make anymore...hehehe I wanted to use those for random creations. LEGO mostly sells sets these days. It will be nice to work with random blocks. I may get a new box of random blocks too. I got Cherie a creator's box of LEGO blocks for her birthday and thought it looked like something I'd also be interested in. For her, I wanted to help her reconnect with parts of herself that haven't had much opportunity to come out and play since she became an adult...hehehe I realize parts of me could use the same play time...LOL
It's almost Autumn and I'm looking forward to my next few visits here so I can see parts of the transition from Summer to Fall. Florida has seasons. But the changes aren't nearly as drastic as they are in the Mid-West. It has been a few years since I've been here for Autumn. Come to think of it, this is the first time in a few years I was here in the summer too. For a couple of years, I only came once in the Winter and once in the Spring. I'm glad I've been coming more often this year. But I think I'm going to make an adjustment next year if I remain out-of-state. I'll plan four trips, one for each season, for one to two weeks each. This year's cadence is due to some special circumstances...hehehe But I'll remain open to emergency trips, of course.
I picked up Malachi this evening and we all went out to grandma's for dinner and to play cards. That's always a fun time.This was Malachi's first time playing Five Crowns. He picked it up quickly. My aunt won, grandma got second, and I was third. I think it was then mom, Malachi, and dad. After the game, we had coffee and snacks. Grandma had made some fudge. I never ate her fudge growing up since I didn't use to like chocolate...hehehe But I love it now and enjoyed her fudge tonight. Mom and dad wanted to get home in time to see the Indiana Fever play. So we went back to their house. They are playing the LA Sparks in LA tonight...hehehe I decided not to watch the game. I've been hanging out with Malachi a bit and journaling. We'll likely have a fun filled weekend. Then I'll start my two day trek home on Monday. Today has been a good day, the week has been a good week, and I'm looking forward to a good weekend ❤️