20 Years and Time to Make Time

Last Wednesday, I thought about not doing sushi Wednesdays anymore. Those $5 rolls aren't really that great. But I do like to get a few premium rolls if they have them. I don't see those often. I decided to do it today anyway. I got there a little later than usual. This time, they had plenty of premium options. So perhaps I've just been getting there too soon. I got 3 $5 rolls and a premium combo of a roll and some nigiri. I'll try getting there a little later again next week and see how it goes.

I like my new e-ink tablet. It will basically replace my iPad and most uses of the Palma I got last month. I'II still use the Palma for music, though. That little thing is like having an iPod Touch...LOL But I have already found my main use case for the Note Air 4 C to be falling short. Normally I would tough it out a little longer and see if something like that would grow on me. But I won't be doing that this time. I went ahead and ordered the larger Tab X C to see if it fits the use case of software development better. I'll keep the Note Air 4 C for all the other use cases. It does those really well. I'm not trying to find to perfect device to do everything. I'm looking for what works best for me even if it is a different device for each thing.

Work is going well. Some days I feel like I don't belong. Then there are days like today when I realize how important my knowledge and understanding really are. I bring my own kind of value. I need to remember I'm here for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes. I sure do. But God doesn't. And I know my company and boss appreciate me being here.

I find it funny how a year ago I was so excited to be making friends here at my apartment complex only to lose every single one of them a month later...LOL Along with a hurricane coming, I was writing about the new friendships. I didn't know then that they'd all be moving away just weeks later. Life is like that sometimes. It may seem cruel to some. But I am laughing about it with some joy now. I don't remember feeling joy when they all left at the same time. But God prepared me for it. Another funny thing about it was that they all moved the weekend I left for California in November. We said our goodbyes before I went on the trip. And when I returned, they were gone. I'm grateful for the weeks I had them in my life. Those moments we shared were a gift.

Today, I celebrate 20 years of life since my suicide attempt. 10 years ago, I threw a party. Last year, I gave some thought to throw another party this year...LOL But, no, I didn't want a party. Every moment is a gift. I thought I would be gone 20 years ago. God wasn't finished with me yet. I celebrate all the moments now. A lot of things have gotten worse. A lot of things have gotten better. God has remained the same. 20 years are nothing compared to eternity.

Just yesterday, a few of my friends expressed how important I am to their lives. There's no question in my mind that God has a purpose for me in His plan. My main purpose is to love God first and then others. But He also wants me to love who He created in me. I couldn't see that before. But I see it clearly now. I'm far from perfect. When I let go of my understanding, I make room for God's perfection to reign in my life. I'll focus on what He's doing to complete me. I'll get out of His way. I'm not so bad once I open my heart to more of God's light.

Four times on my walk, I was able to fist bump my little buddy. And four times, I thanked God for bringing me to those moments. I honestly didn't think I'd get to walk tonight. But how often do things go the way I expect? It took the providencial timing to make those moments happen. And I'm grateful for each. I look forward to reading this each year for the rest of my life and remembering what good God is doing. These moments are important to remember.

Aside from some minor discomfort in my back, and the season allergies I've been dealing with, my health seems to be doing quite well. I still hope to get back into jogging at some point. My sleeping has been fantastic. I have only used white noise to sleep once in the past 2 weeks. And that was only because of some noisy folks at the hotel Saturday...LOL I still wake up to certain sounds at night. And I go to the bathroom most nights. But I'm incredibly happy with how well I sleep now.

I still haven't put together my new LEGO tree. If it had been a gift from someone, I would have built it the day after I got it...LOL I hope to make time for it soon, though. It will also soon be time to trim my other LEGO bonsai. I really love doing the seasons with it. I hope to grow my LEGO botanical collection...hehehe

Speaking of making time for important things soon, I want to finish journaling our August vacation. I have a short story I'd like to finish drafting. And I have a letter to write. Just to name a few more things...LOL